After sitting out the last couple, I’m back in the game with twist. As “Drei Viertel Drei”, Katharina and I entered our song “Lollipop Lady” into the first round. The challenge was to write a song about a childhood nightmare that featured rubato, so we worked up a song about a little boy and his fear of his local lollipop lady (or crossing guard for those of you outside the UK). Here it is:

Thirty-four entries were made into the first round, with some really strong competition. My personal favourite was Rebecca Angel’s song “Monster’s Lullaby”, but there were several really good songs and a healthy number of pretty good (if needing work) songs. Our song came in at position 28, which sounds worse than it is, because we suffered badly in the public vote by not really doing too much promotion of the song. It wouldn’t have made that much difference, but it could have been enough to see us into the second round. One of the great things about SpinTunes over Song Fu is that each judge (5 in total, plus ‘Spin’ himself as backup judge) provides a review as well as a score. This, from Denise Hudson, really made me laugh:

This is terribly weird and really interesting. Psychological and troubling. I don’t really like it, but it’s because it BOTHERS me. And it’s not because it’s not well done. It’s because you are creepy.

or this…

As I hate this more and more and swear never to listen to it again, I put it higher in the rankings.

The general consensus amongst the reviewers is that the chorus and pre-chorus are much better than the verses. They were certainly more fun to write the music for, letting loose the creepiness, but they actually didn’t come together like that until the mixing stage. When the song was still being recorded, the verses were actually the strongest part, but that may have been because of some fairly severe tempo changes in the choruses that made them quite tricky to record certain parts for.

We’re out of the official competition now, but can still produce “shadow” entries. We already have lyrics and a little music worked out for the next challenge: a slightly dark and sad love song. Keep an eye on my Twitter feed for more regular updates.

All 34 songs from round one are also available from Bandcamp. You can listen to the songs below or download the whole album – a great way to get hold of some creepy and fun songs without spending a cent/penny.

I have started using Bandcamp for my own recordings, as I believe it offers the best experience for listeners. You can listen to the track right here and if you like it, download it straight away in whatever format you like – from high quality FLAC files to standard mp3s. Lyrics and artwork is all included, so when you view the song in a suitable player (e.g. an iPod touch or iPhone) you can view all those as the songs play. You can also choose to pay whatever you like, so you can download it for free, or pay something to encourage me to write more! All the music is also released under a Creative Commons licence, so you can download it and share it with your friends. If you liked it, then chances are good that they will too!

However, they do form a thematic album of some sort, so I’ve pulled them all together and stuck them into an album on last.fm. All the tracks are free to download, though you can only play short clips on the website itself. It’s not ideal, but if you want them they are all there.

The songs are presented in reverse chronological order, meaning that they get older and rougher as the playlist progresses. Highlights for me are ‘What is wrong?’, the song that features one of the longest words in the English language (the official chemical name for ‘Tryptophan Synthetase’) in a sort of mock-opera style, the ridiculously so-happy-I-could-punch-you fun of ‘Happy People’ and the rather silly charity song ‘Big Red Nose’

First of all, I’ve signed up to do a song for the ‘Viva la Fry‘ project. Click on the link for more details of what it is. I have no idea what to do for this, but my inclination is to keep it very simple, maybe just uke and vocal. No deadline has been set, other than ASAP, which is pretty non-specific. They’re still looking for participants, so if you’re interested in going head-to-head with Coldplay, take a look.

If you’d like a bigger challenge, there is still time (until Monday) to sign on for the next edition of ‘Masters of Song Fu‘. Having done a few now, I can recommend the experience as a way to develop your songwriting chops and getting some useful feedback about your songs. I’m sitting this one out to concentrate on other things, but will be following along as spectator.

Finally for now, I have submitted another short story to the Great Hites podcast. My first one seems to have been well-received, so the new one may appear within the next few days. More details if and when it does, but it is a more serious story which feeds into ‘Some Other Scotland‘. If you haven’t heard (or read) the first one – have a look at the site – you can subscribe to the whole podcast or just read the individual stories if you prefer.

I need to devote more time to the Some Other Scotland podcast for a while, as Song Fu deadlines meant that podcast episodes have slipped back. I have a special non-story episode coming up soon (after episode 10 launches) that will deal with some questions I’ve had about the story. That has yet to be recorded, so please feel free to send questions and/or feedback to me at mickbordet {at} gmail {dot} com and I can reply on the podcast.

When the podcast started, I hoped to be able to expand the world with a few spin-off stories giving some background to certain characters or events – short tales that would stand on their own as well as giving more depth to the main story. I have come up with a rough plan for the first of these, though it has turned out to be a bit more ambitious than originally planned because it will be more of an audio drama than the main podcast. More news on that as I settle the thing down in a script.

I’ve also completed a short story for possible inclusion on another podcast, so details of that will follow if it comes into being. If it doesn’t I may just post it here instead.

All of this writing and podcasting activity does NOT mean that the music has been abandoned, though. There are a couple of possible guest appearances in the pipeline, a Lunacy Board session of some sort is long overdue and I have a few half-completed songs still kicking around from the FAWM challenge that need to be finished off. At some point soon I’ll also revisit the Song Fu material I have amassed and combine it into an album, though there are some parts to be re-recorded with the luxury of no deadline, as the originals make me cringe in several places. Finally, I have a top secret plan for a podcast-related musical piece that will surface at some point and, who knows, maybe one of these days I’ll get round to sorting out the pile of Dunoon songs.

Another ‘Masters of Song Fu’ comes to a close with the final voting round posted today and it’s been fun. The format of the competition has changed significantly from the first time I entered, with all contestants staying in until the final round and letting us enjoy a much bigger collection of new songs. ‘Shadow’ entries for the final have also been encouraged, so my latest song can be found at quickstopentertainment.com, even though I didn’t make the final as a competitor.

As for the outcome, taking a look at the last set of vote results, I placed 12th out of 22, so just in the lower half – not exactly a shining star, but not too bad against some strong competition, and substantially better than the showing in the first Song Fu I tried. It’s interesting to see that several other people with lower scores in the first round (Jutze, Insane Ian and especially Edric) went on to pull substantially more votes in the following rounds, as I did.

I think I’ll probably take a break from Song Fu after this – there’s just too much other stuff to do at the moment, both on the ‘Some Other Scotland‘ podcast and other musical ideas I’ve had simmering slowly for a while. I’ll be pulling all the songs together shortly to make them easier to download in one go.

#onedayintwitter

The challenge:

FRANKENSONG. For this fourth and final challenge, you must craft a composition that contains AT LEAST THREE (3) distinctly different songs within your final song, but which fit together into a cohesive whole. By distinct, I mean both tempo and style.

I struggled with this for a while, looking for three or four things that could be grouped together, yet remain unique in their own right. It finally struck me whilst looking for something on Twitter that it could be used for the song – indeed it could form the cohesive entity around a group of otherwise unrelated topics. I used the twitter search facility to find ‘trending topics’ and came up with four I thought I could write unique songs about that would fit under the heading “One Day In Twitter” – these were merely the most popular topics at the time I looked:

#susanboyle

Despite everything from Cyrano de Bergerac to Shallow Hal suggesting otherwise, it’s apparently been a common belief that you need to be beautiful to sing/act/dance/etc. Like some warped version of a fairytale (with Cowell, Morgan and Holden as fairy godmothers?) the World has suddenly woken up to discover that ugly people can have talent. Welcome to the party, guys. The fact is that ugly people probably make better artists because they don’t get handed their career on a plate because some sleazebag wants to get them on his casting couch (or whatever the equivalent is for musicians). The music business took a massive detour thanks to MTV, resulting in the rise of the drop-dead-gorgeous-but-musically-bland artists we’ve been subjected to for so many years now, but maybe this will signal to them that there is something beyond airbrushed beauty.
I jest.
Of course they won’t, despite the fact they’re wishing they had a tenth of the sales that Ms Boyle has had YouTube views.

#ashtonkutcher

He entered a race with CNN to get to one million twitter followers first. He had at least one company offering prizes to people who signed up – shame on you EA. How desperate for fame and adoration do you have to be to post pictures of your wife’s arse on the internet just to get more people to sign up to receive your inane drivel? Apparently he’s an actor. I may have already seen one of his films – I don’t know – but I do know that if I hear his name associated with a film in the future, I’ll probably be a little less inclined to want to see it.

#queryfail/#queryday

Literary agents opened themselves up to questions and provided insight into why they knock back many book pitches. Some writers praise them for being open and honest, appreciating the feedback, learning from the experience and maybe going on to produce a pitch for their own book that may get them noticed one day. Others throw their toys out the pram, rant on about what the agents should be doing for them, complain about even the most common-sense of advice and end up looking like unprofessional prima-donna numpties who will doubtless be avoided by every agent on the planet.

#badscifi

Twitter is full of little internet memes like this – change a word in a well-known science fiction title (book or film) to make it a little less inspiring. As with all these things, some work better than others.

I wrote a verse for each topic and recorded a mini-song in a suitable style – mock-operatic for #susanboyle, emo rock for #ashtonkutcher, wistful waltz for #queryfail and robotic electronica for #badscifi. They are bound together not just by being twitter hot topics, but by the same chorus lyrics (the words stay the same, but the music is different each time) as well as some instrumental overlaps and a theme from the start that reappears later on. I had intended to feature a theremin part at the beginning and end, but ran out of time to practice it – hopefully I will get around to this and release a version which includes it. The whole thing is rounded off with a title that both describes what the song is about and serves as a hashtag for searching twitter.

#onedayintwitter

[Operatic/Musical Style]There are thousands of less than beautiful peopleWith voices to make a nightingale proudBut thanks to Mandy and Piers and CowellThere's one who won't throw in the towelPlease step forwards Susan Boyle, That YouTube clip will help you alwaysStand out from the crowd.

[CHORUS]Tweet tweet tweet tweettweet tweet tweet tweetWhat'ya twittering on about?Tweet tweet tweet tweettweet tweet tweet tweetWhat's this twitter thing all about?

[Waltz style]Authors harassing agents in a bid for Rowling fameQueryfail sparked off the "he said, she said" gameBut queryday has showed how much common sense is lackingIn some people sending manuscripts in the hope of getting backing

* CHORUS *

[Emo rock]How needy is the boy who craves a thousand, thousand followersDesperate to outnumber the avid newscast swallowersI'd never heard of Ashton Kutcher till his name came up on twitterBut will a million followers and Demi's arse stop his career going down the shitter?

* CHORUS *

[Tangerine Dream Style - robot voice]Making up names to substandard showsTwitter hive mind, borg-like compliesAvon visits a corner shop in "Blake's 7-Eleven"Art from the chronosynclastic infundibulum in "The Sirens of Titian"Noddy's looking for Replicants in "Slade Runner"All available on #badscifi

* CHORUS *

I’ve been listening to Jutze’s album “HETEROSCEDASTICITY” on and off over the last week and thought it was worth a plug here.

Jutze provided a couple of sets of backing vocals for ‘Big Red Nose’ and is the only other person to complete a shadow Frankensong for the final round of the latest ‘Masters of Song Fu’. There is a nicely eclectic selection of songs on his album, which is named after a statistical term (and why not), ranging from acoustic ditties to heavy rock. He manages to out-R.E.M. R.E.M. on the song “I Wish Natalie Portman Was My Neighbour”, covers similar territory to Katie Melua’s “If You Were A Sailboat” with more wit on “If I Could Paint My Feelings” (“If I could weave my heart, I’d just make towels”) and even get a little serious with “Spirit She”. All of the songs are performed in English, apart from two statistical songs in German, which is a language built for rock.

The wonderfully chirpy “In Love With Michael Owen” reminds me of Judge Smith, which is high praise from me, and in fact the whole album does share a similar sort of low-budget charm with Judge’s earlier efforts “Democrazy” and “Dome of Discovery”.

So give Jutze a little listen – his whole album is available as a free download and would be a bargain at ten times the price!

Here’s a low-budget video for the latest Song Fu challenge song. Only the title was set for this round, so I took a little inspiration from the rather mixed reception the finale of ‘Battlestar Galactica’ received on the internet. Like several other popular cult series, it finished with several untied loose ends, some of which are quoted in the song. When it is running, you should be able to click on the little upward-pointing arrow at the bottom-right corner to switch on subtitles which display the song lyric.

If you enjoyed that, then please head over to Quickstop Entertainment and vote for it!

Red Nose Song Fu Special

Quickstop have also now made the songs from the Red Nose Day special available, right here. During the webcast show one of the Song Fu-ers, Joe ‘Covenant’ Lamb, composed another song which can be found along with the other songs here. Incidentally, in the same way that a number of people guested on my Red Nose song, Joe’s Red Nose song also featured guests including me (playing yobstick and singing).

Don’t forget to donate – the Red Nose Net event raised over £4,000 for Comic Relief!

I finished the song at the weekend, but today is Red Nose Day, and so at some point today it should appear for your delight over at the webcast on Red Nose Net. It starts at 12pm EST (which I think is 5pm in the UK), and runs for 24 hours – I have no idea what time they will play the songs, but watch the video below for a brief preview. Once the song itself is available to download, I’ll provide a link to it as well.

This was a much more collaborative Song Fu effort than the others I have done, specifically because the challenge was to write a song that encourages the listener to join in. A select band of volunteers sent me their contributions to the song and they have been glued together into some sort of a consistent whole I have named “The Furfurescent Choir”. A big thanks to all of them for taking the time to do their bit and entering the spirit of the event with a wonderful selection of singing and other vocal strangeness. Their names are listed below.

The song is just a bit of fun, starting as an upbeat pop number and degenerating into a vocal meltdown. It may not be to your taste, but it’s all in a good cause – see Red Nose Net for more details.

Big Red Nose============

Intro - F C Bb  F C Bb

[verse 1]            D        G      DWhen you're standing in the stormC           G            DRain soaked through your clothes    D      G        DAnd people laugh at you            C              D'cos of the colour of your nose

[verse 2]And you there, in the pubHeavy drinking prosLabelling yourselfwith the colour of your nose

[chorus]F                   C       Bb  Everybody loves a big red nose  Everybody loves a big red noseF             G7          C        F  It brings a grin and it makes us laughF                   Bb      C  Everybody loves a big red nose  

[verse 3]You've got the man fluIt's running like a hoseTissues make it worseBringing colour to your nose

F                   C       Bb  Everybody loves a big red nose  x14


Music & Lyric: Mick Bordet

Mick Bordet: Keyboards, guitar, bass & lead vocalA-DooM: DrumsThe Furfurescent Choir: Vocals (from left to right)    Andy Roberts - http://distributedresearch.net/blog/    Paul Davison - http://stormcock.net/    Cruella Bordet    Matt Walton - http://matthew-walton.co.uk/    Angela Brett - http://angelabrett.wordpress.com    Jutze Schult - http://www.jutze.com

I’m pleased to announce I’ll be doing something musical in support of this year’s Red Nose Day, via the online efforts of Red Nose Net. They are a group of internet folk who are using the web to promote Red Nose Day all round the World. Whilst Comic Relief is based in the UK, they do a lot of work in developing countries, and this initiative aims to give them much more attention than they currently receive outside these little islands.

My part in this will be within a special one-off edition of ‘Masters of Song Fu’ which has the aim of creating songs to get everybody involved. To that end, I’d like to invite you join me on the chorus…

Just send me an email to mick @ lunacyboard . com (without the spaces) OR leave me a comment below with a contact point, and I’ll send you a copy of the chorus to the song to record yourself singing (or shouting, whispering or talking) along to. I’ll then combine all the voices into one massed choir for the finished song.

The final deadline for song submission is 10th March, so please let me know if you are interested as soon as possible!

My entry into the latest “Masters Of Song Fu” contest is now available on their site, ready and waiting expectantly for your vote.

It looks like my decision to abandon my initial idea has paid off, with some support for the one-word-that-lasts-three-minutes approach, to the extent that after only a few hours of voting I have as many votes as I did for the whole of the last round.

Without counting premature chickens, it is very nice not be right at the bottom of the list. Of course that could all change, but I’ll just enjoy it while it lasts!

My entry into the latest “Masters Of Song Fu” contest will shortly appear on their site, ready and waiting expectantly for your vote. Thanks to everyone who voted for my song in the first round – a small and select bunch!

The challenge was to use only 10 words in the song, though each word could be repeated. The idea clearly being to get our brains working overtime on combining those ten words in different ways to change their meaning. Nice idea. I did try it, and will post my first attempt shortly (I have a very rough demo which I’ll tidy up and post), but it just seemed too obvious. Thinking cap back on, I decided that if I couldn’t fill a song with variations on ten words, then I would just fill it with a single word. A single l-o-n-g word. One with over 1900 letters.

It’s the name of an enzyme, Tryptophan Synthetase, and amazingly is NOT the longest word – that is the technical name for another enzyme and runs to almost 190,000 letters – I’ll leave that one for somebody else to sing as a whole album!

Instrumentation is just guitar, bass, piano and vocal. I did try some drums, but the song is so damn fast that they sounded ridiculous. And yes, I had Danny Kaye firmly in mind as I sang it!

Lyrics are as follows:-

What is wrong?
==============

"Doctor,what is wrong with me?""You need some methionylglutaminylarginyltyrosylglutamylseryl-leucylphenylalanylalanylglutaminylleucyllysylglutamylarginyl-lysylglutamylglycylalanylphenylalanylvalylprolylphenylalanyl-valylthreonylleucylglycylaspartylprolylglycylisoleucylglutamyl-glutaminylserylleucyllysylisoleucylaspartylthreonylleucyl-isoleucylglutamylalanylglycylalanylaspartylalanylleucylglutamyl-leucylglycylisoleucylprolylphenylalanylserylaspartylprolyl-leucylalanylaspartylglycylprolylthreonylisoleucylglutaminyl-asparaginylalanylthreonylleucylarginylalanylphenylalanyl-alanylalanylglycylvalylthreonylprolylalanylglutaminylcysteinyl-phenylalanylglutamylmethionylleucylalanylleucylisoleucylarginyl-glutaminyllysylhistidylprolylthreonylisoleucylprolylisoleucyl-glycylleucylleucylmethionyltyrosylalanylasparaginylleucylvalyl-phenylalanylasparaginyllysylglycylisoleucylaspartylglutamyl-phenylalanyltyrosylalanylglutaminylcysteinylglutamyllysylvalyl-glycylvalylaspartylserylvalylleucylvalylalanylaspartylvalyl-prolylvalylglutaminylglutamylserylalanylprolylphenylalanyl-arginylglutaminylalanylalanylleucylarginylhistidylasparaginyl-valylalanylprolylisoleucylphenylalanylisoleucylcysteinylprolyl-prolylaspartylalanylaspartylaspartylaspartylleucylleucylarginyl-glutaminylisoleucylalanylseryltyrosylglycylarginylglycyltyrosyl-threonyltyrosylleucylleucylserylarginylalanylglycylvalylthreonyl-glycylalanylglutamylasparaginylarginylalanylalanylleucylprolyl-leucylasparaginylhistidylleucylvalylalanyllysylleucyllysyl-glutamyltyrosylasparaginylalanylalanylprolylprolylleucyl-glutaminylglycylphenylalanylglycylisoleucylserylalanylprolyl-aspartylglutaminylvalyllysylalanylalanylisoleucylaspartylalanyl-glycylalanylalanylglycylalanylisoleucylserylglycylserylalanyl-isoleucylvalyllysylisoleucylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylhistidyl-asparaginylisoleucylglutamylprolylglutamyllysylmethionylleucyl-alanylalanylleucyllysylvalylphenylalanylvalylglutaminylprolyl-methionyllysylalanylalanylthreonylarginylserine."

My entry into the latest “Masters Of Song Fu” contest is up on their site, ready and waiting expectantly for your vote.

It’s a happy little ditty featuring uke, yobstick, synth (the old Crumar Performer string synth) and shaker. Comments on it so far include ‘dystopian joy‘, ‘sounds like toads playing tiny tin digeridoo‘ and ‘there’s something ominous here‘!

Lyrics and chords are as follows:-

Happy People
============

[Chorus]
G
When you are happy
C
it makes me happy
G
to see you happy
       D
to see me

When I am happy
You say it makes you happy
to see me so happy
to see you

[Verse]
Dm
    We're happy people
Gm
   We're happy people in a happy
Dm
World, we're happy people
Gm
Happy people in a happy
Dm
World.  We're happy people.
Gm
   We're happy people in a happy
Dm
World, we're happy people
C

~Chorus~

   C                          Bb               A
Apparently my joi de vivre's getting on your wick
My natural exuberance is making you feel sick
     Your grumpy face just makes me want to laugh
Even when you're drowning me for singing in the bath

   G               A7           Bb6                    A7
So turn that frown upside down, smile, your face won't crack
I'll keep on singing happy songs 'til I receive a  smack, because...

~Chorus~

~Verse~  (rinse and repeat)

If you’ve arrived here via the link on the latest ‘Masters of Song Fu’ page, then Welcome!

On the off-chance you enjoyed my entry into the first round (which is due to be made available later this week), you can find a wealth of additional music for free download (as well as real, physical CDs) by clicking this link right here.

More details can be found at the following places:-

www.lunacyboard.com

‘The Lunacy Board’ have three albums of quirky, eclectic rock, one available as a free download. If you like Pink Floyd, Krautrock, The Bonzos, or other cerebral rock music, it’s worth a try.

someotherscotland.blogspot.com

‘Some Other Scotland’ is my weekly fiction podcast, based around a warped version of current events in Scotland.

www.the-deserters.co.uk

‘The Deserters’ date back into the early 80′s – a world away, but worth a trip for the sheer hell of it.

twitter.com/MickBordet

If you do the twitter thing, this is my feed – find out about the latest new music from chez Bordet as it happens.

Thanks for visiting, and don’t forget to vote!

February could well go by the moniker of “Crazy Challenges Month” for this psychonaut…

First of all, the Masters of Song Fu challenge is opening up again early this month. If I make it into the arena, I’ll be repeating my last ‘shadowing’ of the event, writing songs to meet the challenges despite being knocked out in the early (or first) rounds.

Next up is the “February Album Writing Month” (FAWM), with its challenge of writing 14 songs within the 28 days of February. If that seems a bit of a breeze, then I would add that I’ll be combining it with the RPM Challenge, which is to record an album of at least 10 songs in the same period. In other words, by the end of the next month, expect a new album from yours truly.

I’ve given the project the title “Furfuressence” and I’m hoping for some new collaborators to join me, but nothing is set in stone as far as this one goes.

Finally, you may have noticed a new addition to this site – a little box on the right labelled “Some Other Scotland“. I’ll be posting about this shortly, but in the meantime, please try it out. You might like it!

Just to finish off the Song Fu experience and tie up any loose ends, I have stuck all the songs together up on Last.fm, which is worth a look as a way to find new music similar to what you already listen to.

Last week I made the trip back West to see one of the ‘Masters of Song Fu’, Jonathan Coulton, doing his thing live on stage in Glasgow. A great show, slightly curtailed by the management of the Oran Mor imposing a 10pm curfew – probably the earliest finishing gig I’ve ever attended. A great night’s entertainment all round, with plenty of amusing between-song banter – something often sadly lacking in many modern acts. Mr Coulton enthusiastically embraces the creative commons licence, meaning that live recordings and videos are positively encouraged. So here is my recording of his Glasgow show:-

Jonathan Coulton – Oran Mor, Glasgow, UK – 25th Oct 2008

We were supposed to be seeing the ‘Bad Shepherds‘ next week. They’re a folk band playing punk songs, and include ex-members of Jethro Tull and Iona within their ranks, as well as former ‘Young One’ Ade Edmonson. However, their tour has been cancelled for reasons still unknown (no details as yet on their website. Pretty annoying.

You must choose one of those 1970’s Williams-scored Spielberg/Lucas flicks (JAWS, CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND, 1941, or STAR WARS). and write “The Song From…” that the film never had, in the style of a 1970’s pop tune (particularly in your instrumentation).

And thus ended Song Fu…

Here is my final non-competitive effort. The instrumentation could have been a bit more lush and over-the-top, but I was running too short of time for such luxuries. The bassline is a bit more mundane than when I first recorded it, as it became the subtle reference I mentioned last time. Then I blew any subtlety away in the last few bars as the bass reveals itself much more blatantly – it’s super-corny, but I just couldn’t resist it. Sorry.

Click here to hear the song

I don’t know whether there are plans for another run of the Song Fu challenge and, if there are, whether I should re-apply. A couple of the deadlines have been pretty tight (usually due to being away with work), but I’ve got 4 new songs out of it of varying quality, with inspiration for a couple more. What do you reckon?

Anyway, here are the lyrics and chords:-

[verse 1]C              Gm7  My, what big teeth you have,          Am             FSaid the swimmer to the fish    C                    Gm7One drop (of blood) in a million    Am             FAnd she became the dish       C        Bb     Fmaj7   Fmaj7of the day.       C        Bb     Fmaj7   Fmaj7of the d   -    a   -  y.

[verse 2]The mayor of "Shark City" isA sceptic through and throughIgnoring the problem until itSwims up and bites youon the ass

[chorus]         C   FIt was a bad fish       Am               Gm7->BbLike a piscine Jack the Rip-per  C   FA bad fish Am           BbA giant psychopathic kipper Fmaj7 x4 bars

[verse 3]Swapping tales of scarsWith buddies and a drinkYou'll need a bigger boatThis one's going to sinkfairly soon

~Chorus~

[verse 4]You'd be a much more efficient killerIf you didn't have that tell-tale finAnd you could still be alive todayIf you'd swallowed that oxygenSmile you son of a bitch

~Chorus~

Fade out on Fmaj7

You must choose one of those 1970’s Williams-scored Spielberg/Lucas flicks (JAWS, CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND, 1941, or STAR WARS). and write “The Song From…” that the film never had, in the style of a 1970’s pop tune (particularly in your instrumentation).

The song is written, both music and lyrics, and is called “Bad Fish”. It has four verses, each one of which deals with a key scene in the movie, and a silly little chorus that’s somewhat scathing about the protagonist of the story.

There was nearly an accidental reference to ‘The Man in the Boat’, which would have been quite apt, but it interrupted the flow of the song, so it was left out. There is another subtle reference, though, which I’ll leave you to work out when you hear it.

The next step is to start the recording process and dig out suitable quantities of funky 70′s pop sounds…

I’ve got a few possible verses put together for the Song Fu challenge, though no music as yet, but my research into Jaws and the history of the film and book has given me inspiration for another new song. I did think about making it the challenge song, but it is a couple of steps away from the plot of the film and too serious to be done as a 70′s movie-pop song.

The off-shoot comes from the story told by one of the film’s characters, Quint, in a monologue not in the book and apparently substantially ad-libbed by actor Robert Shaw, about the sinking of the USS Indianapolis during WWII. Having read some actual survivors’ accounts of the event, there’s a lot more to the story that resonates with the best and worst of human character. I’ll elaborate more about it soon, once the Song Fu song is done and dusted and I can concentrate on bringing the story threads together in a way that makes sense within a song.

The fourth and final challenge has been posted. The competition is now between the remaining challenger, Jason Morris, and the leading master, The Rifftones. The challenge is another genre-specific one, though the remit is a bit more limited than previous rounds:-

You must choose one of those 1970’s Williams-scored Spielberg/Lucas flicks (JAWS, CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND, 1941, or STAR WARS). and write “The Song From…” that the film never had, in the style of a 1970’s pop tune (particularly in your instrumentation).

I can think of a few possible options for this, but I think I’ll go for Jaws as the one with most scope for writing an interesting song about. Time to put the string synth to the test – cheesy orchestral washes coming right up…

Incidentally, I actually had a dream last night that I was attacked by a shark whilst swimming in Loch Lomond (which is freshwater and shark-free), defending myself by punching it on the nose (which apparently CAN work as an act of last resort). I don’t know what prompted that subject, as I’ve not been aware of shark-related news since this article caught my attention a couple of weeks ago, however it is too good a coincidence to ignore!

Your task is to write a country ballad – using a backstory of your own creation – called “The Ballad of Rufus Amos Adams“.

Here’s the song for Round 3 of the Song Fu challenge (you know, the one I was knocked out of at round 1):-

Click here for the song

For some background to the song and the additional challenge I set myself, see this post. It does include all the items I mentioned, including a wobbly theremin-pretending-to-be-a-pedal-steel-guitar solo. Having now listened to the other challengers I realise that there was no yodelling, but I don’t know that would sit very well in a ballad, plus it was not in my original list, so too bad.

Here are the lyrics and chords (non-Scottish readers – minor translations included – move your mouse over a word you don’t understand):-

[verse1]  G        G           C               GI left the farm in the morning, around 6G       G             D       DFed the cattle on the wayG                G         C          GHeaded South for Dallas to pick up my girlG                  G         D        D And that's when my life went astray.

[verse2 - same chords as v1 except last line]She was waitressin' in the Korean restaurantNoodles on poodles she'd serveWhen a truck, red 'n' green, with the name of Christine    G              D          G         GToo fast round the corner did swerve

[verse3]Gm                 Gm      Cm        CmWhat happened just then, I fail to recall       Gm       Gm           Dsus4    D7But my world it descended to Hell          Gm         Gm          Cm     CmThere was kimchi and shitzhu and bodily parts in    Gm         Gm              Dsus4    D7The rubble and dust where they fell

[verse4 - same chords as v3 except last line]I grabbed the truck driver and gave him a kickin'For killin' my sweetheart so swellBut she wasn't dead - she'd just banged her headGm          D7          Gm         GAnd I spent time in the Bar-L

[chorus]G                        CI'm known around here as Amos AdamsG                     DSometimes as Rufus or Hank       G                   CI'd consider it lucky if I lived in Kentucky  G                  DInstead of a village just West of Buckie          G                    CWhere the trains are sporadic, money is tight  G                       DA bottle of Talisker gets you through the night  G                   CI wish to God that my Mama, that sod,    G        D              G         GHad named me something like Shug.

[verse5 - same as v2]Let out of prison this Christmas just pastI hoped for a change in my luckWhen I got home she wrote, on a tiny wee note"I've left with the man and his truck"

[instrumental verse - same as v2]

[verse6 - same as v2]Now I'm only a jakey from a wee Scottish townBut my life's like a Johnny Cash songMy name isn't Sue, but Rufus will doI guess Nashville is where I belong

~Chorus~... Had named me something like Tam.... or named me something like Doug... or even something like Shug

Your task is to write a country ballad – using a backstory of your own creation – called “The Ballad of Rufus Amos Adams“.

The song is now written, having walked around all week with a list of the requirements in my pocket and no idea how to get them all together. The answers came once I had the story behind the ballad, and the various items then all slotted into place fairly well.

It’s the story of a Scottish lad with a country and western name and the trouble that follows because of it – it sits somewhere between ‘A Boy Named Sue’ and Billy Connolly’s version of ‘Tell Laura I Love Her’. It features ALL the subjects required for the ‘perfect’ country song as well as a little reference to ‘Stobby‘. I’ll post the lyrics when the recording is complete, probably tomorrow night.

The third challenge is up and ready to begin. They’re down to just two Masters and two Challengers now, with the final round approaching soon. The latest challenge is a bit of a stinker:-

Your task is to write a country ballad – using a backstory of your own creation – called “The Ballad of Rufus Amos Adams“.

To me this is a bit of a wide-open challenge – really the song could be about anything so long as Rufus is mentioned somewhere. Time for some self-imposed restrictions to get the brain something to grab onto, but what should they be? Country is not a musical genre I’m particularly familiar with beyond the ‘classics’, and have almost no experience writing anything in that vein. The possible exceptions to that being ‘The Middle Eastern Western’, which was just a country backing to some Gulf War (v1) and old cowboy film samples, and more recently ‘Stobby’, which has a bit of a country-rock sound to it in places.

So, what makes a good country song? 10 seconds googling gives us a list for the attributes required for the ‘perfect’ country song. They are as follows:-

1. Clever lyrics (a pun, a joke, or a play on words, preferably in the title of the song)
2. Regret
3. A stalwart, but flawed, protagonist
4. A pedal steel guitar
5. Alcohol (of course)
6. Reverence for the land, especially the South

Steve Goodman and John Prine also suggest:-

1. Mama
2. Trains
3. Trucks
4. Prison
5. Gettin’ drunk
6. Farms
7. Dead dogs
8. Christmas

Arguments about lists like this could rage for decades, but it seem like a good start based on the country songs I’m familiar with, so here’s my additional challenge:-

Include at least 10 of the subjects required for a perfect country song from the supplied list.

Of course, I will try to get them all in the song, but that might be just too much to ask!

Your challenge is to choose a famous inventor and craft a song proposing a “dance craze” based on either the inventor or one of his/her most well known inventions.

Just finished mixing this non-submission to Song Fu.

Here is a link to the song.

It’s called ‘The C5 Shuffle’ and the inventor in question is, of course, Sir Clive Sinclair. For those outside the UK or too young to remember, Sir Clive designed the best-selling home PC in the UK. It was pretty wretched, even for its own time, but was the door into computing for thousands. His follow-up invention was eagerly anticipated, but the battery-powered C5 was something of a failure, being both before its time and far from reliable or even practical. There are plenty of them still about, see here, but I think I’ve only ever seen one on the roads myself. From the way the vehicle is driven in the picture and the chorus of the song, it should be pretty clear how the dance works.

Here are the lyrics for the song, along with some chords for the musically inclined:-

[Verse1]GTrundling alongBSo close to the groundC3 wheels are spinning, butCmwhat's that clicking sound?

Watch out for the fumesRoundabouts are deadlyHills are out of boundsIn our electric pedalled medley

[chorus]      G            D  D7  Dm7We're gonna do the C5     C            G  G6 G       DIt's kinda like a three-wheeled jiveInvented by good old Sir CliveLet's take it for a MicrodriveAnd the Hoover motor might contriveTo get us all home alive

[Verse2]Arms close to your sidesGrab the handlebarsShoulders up and downWiggling your arseBattery's gone flatPedal for a whileNow get out and pushYou're dancing with such style

[chorus]We're gonna do the C5It's kinda like a three-wheeled jiveInvented by good old Sir CliveLet's take it for a MicrodriveAnd the Hoover motor might contriveTo get us all home alive

Gm                   F                       C2      Am7I've got used to the scornful looks from the passing carsGm                     F               Am7        C2and their comments and mocking tone so derisoryGm                             F                   C2         Am7But they'll be laughing on the other side of their facesGm                F         Am7           D              D(higher)In 10 short hours once I've recharged the battery

[Verse3]Arms close to your sidesGrab the handlebarsShoulders up and downWiggling your arseBattery's gone flatPedal for a whileNow get out and pushYou're dancing with such style

[chorus]We're gonna do the C5It's kinda like a three-wheeled jiveInvented by good old Sir CliveLet's take it for a MicrodriveAnd the Hoover motor might contriveTo get us all home alive

[alt chorus]We're gonna do the C5 (ah ah ah)It's a miracle we're stayin' alive We're gonna do the C5 (it's so delicious and moist)I dunno how we're still aliveWe're gonna do the C5 (we're heading for home)Let's hope we all arrive alive

The second round of Song Fu has begun and the next challenge has been set. As expected, I didn’t make it through to the next round, but I’m planning on following through with each of the challenges anyway. It focuses the mind and sets an unbreakable deadline to create something new. So…

Your challenge is to choose a famous inventor and craft a song proposing a “dance craze” based on either the inventor or one of his/her most well known inventions.

This struck me as a much more interesting challenge than the first, as within the space of a minute of reading this challenge I had 3 ideas about subject matter, though it quickly became apparent that only one of those was really workable. I won’t reveal any more at this stage, though I’m pretty sure that it won’t be duplicated by those still in the competition as it has a bit of a UK bias. I will say that I have already got a first draft of the lyrics written, which I’m pretty happy with. Just need to work out some music to go with them and I can get stuck into recording.

Song Fu

The final day of voting for round one is here, and I think I can safely say that it’s the end of the road for this song fu disciple as far as the official competition goes. I enjoyed the challenge, though the song is not a great piece of work – certainly it didn’t deserve to be in the top of the pile, though I did personally prefer it to a couple of others in the competition. Of course, my tastes are pretty far from normal songwriter fare, so I’ll not name names.

So thanks to those of you who voted for my efforts – 1% of the vote may not seem like a lot, but it means that almost 20 people thought my song was better than all the rest, which is fine by me. Or maybe I just got the ‘pity’ vote.

Whatever the reason, thanks, and you’ll maybe be pleased to hear that I’m planning on continuing to follow the challenges even though I’ll be out of the official competition. I think it’s a good way to keep flexing the old songwriting muscle and building up my Fu for the next time…?

100 Posts

Yes, this is the 100th post to this blog. I’m really pleased how far things have come since I kicked this off a couple of years ago. Thanks to those few of you who pop back for a visit now and again, and also to my family who put up with my musical meanderings.

Have we got a video?

There is now a video to accompany the song ‘Choices‘ from ‘Difficult Second‘. You can view it in miniature above or at the Lunacy Board site, or click here to see it on YouTube – please leave your comments and feel free to give it a nice high rating!

After quite a bit of fiddling about I finished the new song last night, and it is now available for download at the Quick Stop voting page.

Don’t forget to vote!

The song is called First Impressions and is a “Moon’s-eye” view of the Earth and the influence of the Moon on us and vice-versa. The uke part I recorded didn’t really sit with the style of the song, so I dropped it, but did keep a gentle little harmonica introduction and outro. I think this is the first time I’ve recorded a song with the mouth organ – it’s not something I play very often, but it sits here quite well and is a little reminder of the portable nature of this recording.

Bad planning.

Here we are, two days left to the Song Fu deadline, and I’m away all week with work. South of the border with half a song.

Over the weekend I worked out the music and lyrics, ably assisted by my lovely wife. I laid down drum, bass and guitar tracks, but a bit of a mixing desk crisis on Saturday night put pay to normal working conditions.

A couple of weeks ago I was doing my live sound role at a gig up near Inversneckie, when my car was rear-ended on the way there. The desk was beside the damaged part of the car and suffered a substantial shunt – not enough to write it off completely, but it did stop one main channel from working and apparently dislodged the workings as the channel LEDs all disappeared into the body of the mixer. It was okay to continue for the gig as the room was reasonably small and one set of speakers was enough to fill the room, but far from undamaged. This weekend I used it again, and wasn’t so lucky, as within seconds of plugging it in, smoke started seeping out the back. Not good. We got by with an old mini-mixer we carry as a back-up, but the normal desk is well and truly gubbed.

And so, sat in a Midlands hotel room with as much gear as I can pack into my case, which amounts to just the ukulele, a moothie and my trusty boss handheld recorder, I’m embarking on recording the rest of the song as best I can. Sometimes limitations can be creatively inspiring, sometimes a pain in the bahookie… time will tell which in this case.

Fresh from creating a whole album in a day, the latest challenge I’ve undertaken is the ‘Masters of Song Fu’.

Click the logo above for more information about the whole event, but in short it takes the form of a series of knock-out challenges to write songs against the ‘Masters’ including Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm and the RiffTones

I’ll be providing updates here where people are welcome to leave comments about the song(s) I submit to the challenge, as well as giving a little bit of insight into the creative process.

The first challenge is to write a song about the Moon at least 1 minute and 45 seconds long. What better topic could there be for a member of The Lunacy Board? Give me a day or two for ideas to form…